Has a whole month already passed since my last post? Wow. I must’ve been busy or sleeping or busy sleeping. Of course, I may have also been sidetracked by a few visitors from out of town, some urge to cherish these final days of summer, or the treasure trove of tennis balls that was bequeathed unto me. I guess it doesn’t matter what I’ve been doing, it only matters that I’m back. And boy am I back! What do you want to learn about this week? My thoughts on loud sounds? Why I think crunchy peanut butter is superior to creamy? What I think is behind the front door when I can’t see it? Rain? Flies? Popcorn? That clicky noise I hear after I get a treat? Perhaps you would just enjoy reading my rambling thoughts all in succession. Punctuation? I use it more often than most people. Alright, I’ll narrow your options down to one. We’ll discuss my favorite places to stand or lay down.
1. My favorite place to stand
A pool
It’s beautiful, right!? A pool is a great place to stand alone or with a friend. It makes a great place to put a ball, a rock, a bone, a Hambone or anything you can think of. A sandwich? Sure, throw it right in and I’ll find a good place for it.
2. My favorite place to lay down
The human bed
Move over, humans! It’s 1PM which means it’s Ham’s sleepy time. And again at 3, 4, 10, 8, 9:30, and after the Ellen show. It’s important to keep a strict, rigorous schedule. Miss a nap, make a mistake. At least, that’s what I tell my bosses down at the factory. We’re unionized, so they can’t fire me without going through quite an ordeal anyway.
Here were some close runner ups that are definitely worth mentioning: the floor, a sunny spot, the couch, Mom, by the window, and the car. All this thinking has left me parched and exhausted. Keep your tuners tuned into the Hambotato Blog page of whimsy and fun for future posts especially as the ghastly winter approaches. I’ll do my best to churn out epic stories and opinion pages.
-Ernest Hamingway
My Life as a Ham 