Greetings and salutations, Hambone Nation. You must have been wondering if this blog would ever light again with the humorous and trutherous insights of Mr. Hambone. Indeed, the time has come. Many moons have risen, bowls of food filled and Vedas aggravated since my last entry into this blog and your world. My lapse can be blamed by a lack of creativity, a lack of motivation or by an excess of complacence with enjoying the passing of the day without staring a computer screen. You must understand that a dog’s eyes are not accustomed to staring at this ethereal glow of the computer monitor while I succumb to the ever haunting “chair butt”. It’s real, folks. I have a great butt and I refuse for it to be forged into an ever widening mass. Sometimes when I strut through the neighborhood I can hear people comment “Nice dog, but” and then I lose track of the conversation because I get a little bashful about those compliments. Today I write to discuss a most wondrous occurrence that has happened in my already incredible life. You see, I was in the yard saying hello to passersby on a sunny day when all of a sudden I felt the delicate tap of water droplets alight upon my tail. I turned around and looked up to see a clear sky of blue followed by a short rain of water droplets. From where are these water droplets coming? “It is meteorologically inappropriate to be raining,” I said to myself. Further investigation was needed to elucidate the origin of this mystical rain. Even more odd, it would rain for a second or two, stop then start up again. What the hecks!? My most astute intuition told me to aim my gaze downward instead of upward and I discovered the source! The rain appeared to emanate from what must be an artificial ground cloud or something very scientific and complicated. The water poured in streams from center of the yard and waved to and fro in complete defiance of gravity. It must be hard for your human mind to grasp this concept. Luckily, it was all recorded to provide proof of the aforementioned observations. The average human would probably be frightened by this phenomenon, but I am no human! My brave soul went forth through the spraying streams of water until I reached this mysterious source and then I further investigated by tasting the water to try to determine the origin. Was it ground water, lake water, ocean water, fire water, pool water, tub water? No…it was different. I sensed a hint of calcium tinged with a familiar flavor. What was this flavor? Yes! It was rubber! This was hose water, probably my third most favorite water after pool and lake. I will tell you that I am ok despite my reckless investigation. The video below documents my courage, but be warned that I had to get serious and attack the source in order to secure the best evidence. I’ll see you guys later, I have to go convince my humans that it’s time to rain from below again.
-Meteorological ExHaminer
My Life as a Ham 